Best Nude Scenes

Unlike the villain list, compiling this one did not feel that natural, but I thought it would be amusing to try. I looked at some best nude scene lists before compiling my own and they were almost all booooooring. Seriously, just about the only one I enjoyed was this one.
Mine will be a little different because:

  • It features only male nudity
    I was struggling with coming up with female nude scenes I particularly enjoyed (the list I linked to had some good sounding ones, but I haven’t seen any of those unfortunately). But since there are loads of lists which say they are “best nude scene lists” rather than “best female nude scene lists” and yet they only feature ladies, I decided I may as well turn the tables ;-P
  • It includes nude scenes with no actual nudity
    That might sound like no fun, but hey, I like those too ;-P I’ve seen plenty of scenes with frontal nudity that haven’t done much for me, but I’ve also enjoyed plenty of scenes where the character is supposedly nude, but the camera is careful not to show it. Which is probably why compiling this list felt so unnatural to me :] I mean, don’t get me wrong - I do like to ogle a naked man and there are plenty of full frontals on this list also (and in three cases I even moan that the scenes should have been full frontals ;)). But in the end, I get a bigger kick out of the context of a nude scene than I do from the nudity itself. Which is why, even though I complain that certain scenes aren’t full frontals, I’ve put them on this list anyway.
  • The list is slightly tongue in cheek
    Reading through most of the lists I found, I felt they took themselves way too seriously :]
Alan Rickman in Dogma (1999)
explicitness: I suppose it’s a full frontal… sort of, but it’s actually very tame and fully work safe ;)
context: After Bethany extinguishes a very sudden fire in her bedroom she finds a man who claims to be an angel in its place. When she worries she will be raped he attempts to calm her by pulling his pants down - angels don’t have genitals!

You don’t often get scenes in which men pull down their pants to show off they don’t have any genitals, so I figured this one was particularly list-worthy ;)

Jamie Campbell Bower, Michael Sheen & Christopher Heyerdahl in The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)
explicitness: Full frontal (but once again I assure you that both clips are fully work safe ;))
context: Bathing in a Roman bath

The sad thing about this scene is… that it doesn’t exist ;) But even though it doesn’t, it’s probably the most controversial nude scene we’ve had in Hollywood in the last few years ;) Summit Entertainment had to release official statements saying that there is, in fact, no nude scene, but there were still doubts about it until the movie finally released.
Personally, I think Bower’s idea was brilliant (check out the two clips for more info on what the scene was supposed to have entailed). I’m sure that if the scene had existed I would have loved it ;)

Ewan McGregor’s whole career
explicitness: The full monty and more
context: There is a reason he makes those jokes about having a clause in his contract which states he must have a nude scene in every film ;) All of his full frontal nude scenes were cut out of Star Wars apparently ;) IMO his whole career is list-worthy, but I’d like to particularly mention Trainspotting (1996), Young Adam (2003) and The Pillow Book (1996).

I mention Trainspotting because as far as I remember (though it’s been a long time since I’ve seen it), it has a scene where not only is he naked, but he’s wearing a condom. Can’t think of any other film I’ve seen that had a frontal with a condom, so thought it was worth some particular attention ;)
Young Adam because it’s one of the most absurdly controversial full frontals I’ve ever heard of. The US distributor removed the scene even though the context of the scene is extremely innocent (he’s in bed with a woman, it’s morning, they’re waking up and she gets him out of bed by taking all the covers for herself). Ewan made his distaste at the censorship very loudly known.
It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen The Pillow Book, but I don’t think I’d exaggerate much if I said that he’s naked almost as much as he’s clothed in the movie ;)

Matsuda Ryuhei & Ando Masanobu in 46-okunen no koi (2006)
explicitness: Buttocks
context: After they are arrested they are strip-searched. Another prisoner enters the room and ogles them as they stand there naked.

It’s two attractive Japanese men in a very homoerotic and aesthetically-orientated film and the scene is beautifully awkward *grin*

Robert Carlyle, Mark Addy, Steve Huison, Tom Wilkinson, Paul Barber & Hugo Speer in The Full Monty (1997)
explicitness: Six naked bums
context: The final striptease scene of course *grin*

As far as I’m concerned, this one is cinematic history ;) However, as the title of the film is “The Full Monty”, I think a short frontal shot would have been in order ;-P Still thought the scene was list-worthy though :)

Gael Garcia Bernal in La Mala Educacion (2004)
clip: Singing in drag (fragments)
The swimming pool scene (fragments)
explicitness: Er… I suppose the wet underwear thing is a frontal view, but it’s obscured enough not to be that explicit. There are some bare buttocks though. The drag scene is well… not explicit unless fake pubic hair on a pink costume bothers you ;)
context: In one scene he jumps into the pool in his underwear and later walks around in wet underwear before changing into dry clothes. The other scene I find very memorable is when he’s singing in drag (the drag costume is basically a naked woman’s body).

Ok ok, I’m bending my rules a bit - the drag scene is sort of female nudity, but as it’s a man doing it I think it’s still fully acceptable on this list ;-P Unfortunately, the excerpt doesn’t show the full beauty of Gael’s “naked female body” (personally, I loved the pubes *grin*), but I think you get the idea.
Even though Gael has far more nudity in Y Tu Mama Tambien for example, his La Mala Educacion scenes stand out in my mind more. He’s basically a male femme fatale in the film and both those scenes are extremely seductive - it’s not just what he does but how he does, how he’s filmed and how he’s made up.

Paul Bettany in A Knight’s Tale (2001)
explicitness: Just his bum
context: Geoffrey Chaucer is walking down a dirt road completely naked when William meets him for the first time. Apparently, he lost his clothes gambling.

Haven’t seen this for ages and can’t find a clip, but it must have been hilarious cause otherwise I never would have remembered this scene existed and would not have been tempted to put it here despite having such a vague memory of it ;)
Wikiquote has the following quote from the scene:

William: [sees a naked man on the road] Oi sir, what are you doing?
Chaucer: Uh… trudging. You know, trudging? [pause] To trudge: the slow, weary, depressing yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left in life except the impulse to simply soldier on.
William: Uhhh… were you robbed?
Chaucer: [laughs] Funny really, yes, but at the same time a huge resounding no. It’s more of an… involuntary vow of poverty… really.

Imagine Heath Ledger as William and Paul Bettany as Chaucer and you will probably understand the appeal this scene has for me ;) I suppose the other reason it resonates with me so strongly is that this is the way the film introduces Geoffrey Chaucer and it feels like blasphemy ;)

Brendan Fraser in Gods and Monsters (1998)
explicitness: Er… naked chest?
context: Can’t describe it cause it’s a major spoiler. No sex in it (oddly enough I don’t think even one scene on this list involves intercourse), but it is rather homoerotic.

This one really should have been a full frontal. Bill Condon (the director) has even admitted that he intended for there to be a full frontal shot in the scene. There was gossip that the reason they didn’t go for it was that some of the suits freaked out - at the time Brendan Fraser was the star of George of the Jungle and they didn’t want somebody who was in a kids’ film doing frontal nudity.
I can’t quite explain why the lack of nudity in this bothers me so much. I suppose it just looks silly with them trying to hide him with the towel all the time when he’s actually supposed to be naked (his “nudity” lasts quite a bit, otherwise it would be easier to shoot him without it appearing quite that silly).
The scene makes it here anyway because I love the intensity of it. It’s very melodramatic, ends with one of them sobbing and the homoerotic tension is so clear through it all *grin*

Alec Baldwin in It’s Complicated (2009)
explicitness: Just buttocks
context: Jake strips for Jane and ends up on the computer screen for Adam to see.

I was very disappointed to hear that Alec Baldwin used a body double ;-P And also this is the third time I’m going to complain that it should have been a full frontal ;) There is no way that the only thing that appeared on the computer screen was his belly when he was in that position ;-P They should have gone with showing his genitals - it would have been even funnier. Though it was hilarious anyway.

Billy Crudup in Watchmen (2009)
explicitness: Full Frontal
context: Dr. Manhattan is so enveloped in his own world that he doesn’t much care if he’s wearing clothes or not. He appears naked multiple times throughout the movie.

The reason for this one is obvious - how often do you get to ogle a blue cock? *grin* It’s also the first and only time I’ve seen a superhero’s penis, which I think is cool in itself ;)

Sam Neill in The Piano (1993)
explicitness: Buttocks
context: Even though they’re married, Ada and Alisdair’s only sexual contact consists of her stroking his back and buttocks. She never lets him touch her.

The nudity that always gets mentioned in the context of The Piano is Harvey Keitel (an American actor over 50 doing a full frontal is almost unheard of!). But I always liked Sam Neill’s nude scene better ;) I suppose it’s because it’s so awkward and embarrassing for his character. Plus there’s so much sexual and emotional tension in the air.

Paul Gross in Eastwick (2009-2010)
explicitness: No naughty body parts, it’s American TV :]
context: Roxie lets Darryl spend the night on the couch downstairs. When she comes downstairs in the morning (well, more like noon really), he’s still sleeping and completely naked.

Eastwick has a couple of great scenes (like this one) in which Darryl insists on being naked for no logical reason and I adore all of them (it’s the total randomness and silliness of them that is so great), but the couch one is my favourite *grin* What cracks me up so much about this one is the position he’s sleeping in *grin*
I suppose the scene would have been a tad bit more amusing if they did not have to abide by the rules of American television (the objects in the way look so silly ;-P), but I actually don’t mind it as much as with the other three I complained about.

Nicholas Hoult in A Single Man (2009)
explicitness: Just his rear
context: Can’t say too much cause it’s a spoiler, but it’s the scene in the apartment.

This is another one of the homoerotic tension ones. But it’s different than the others I’ve mentioned cause it’s very sweet and actually sort of funny. But there’s a lot going on emotionally as well.

Jason Mewes in Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)
explicitness: Full frontal in grand style
context: Lester likes to walk around naked in his apartment. Zack happens to enter the apartment at such a moment.

Apparently, they debated whether to keep the penis shot in this or not (especially as the penis was not quite flaccid ;-P), but the audience reaction during the test screening convinced them it was a keeper ;) It is a really funny shot - the timing of it, Jason Mewes’ whole expression… it’s perfect *grin*

Jason Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)
clip: Segel talking about the scene on Letterman
Another interview with clips from the scene
explicitness: Full Frontal
context: He gets dumped by his girlfriend while he’s naked.

I debated whether to put this one down, but I figured that since I listed a scene that doesn’t exist and therefore I haven’t actually seen it, I can also list a scene that does exist, but that I haven’t actually seen ;)
Apparently, this one’s legendary and it certainly does sound awesome *grin*

Paz Vega in Hable Con Ella (2002)
explicitness: The most gigantic vagina ever ;)
context: A sort of fantasy sequence in which a tiny man dives into a gigantic vagina.

Ok ok, I know I said no female nudity, but then, just as I thought I’d finally finished my list, I remembered this one and I couldn’t not list it :] I just couldn’t… I haven’t seen it in a long while, but I remember it was one of the weirdest, creepiest and most beautiful sequences about the female body that I’ve ever seen.

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